A POSITIVE EFFECT

Radha was taking off the red ribbon from her saree when she looked into the mirror to travel back in time…. Sitting on the damp bed struggling to carefully remove the ribbon from her saree Radha was riveted by the shadow of a photo of her husband kept on the bedstand. One look at his cheerful innocent face weakened her heart and filled her eyes with tears.

Her flail fingers ran through the pages of her marriage album. Tantalized by the togetherness and harmony portrayed in the picture. Within seconds her mind was in clusters- piles of abstract memories disjointed the neurotransmitters and suppressed numbness all over again. Passage of a few weeks and then, it is was his 3^rd death anniversary and ironically their 8^th anniversary of marital bliss.

Amit and Radha had been together since childhood and life was smooth sailing for  both of them. Never had they ever expected that something as tiny as a needle would tear apart their lives rendering them unrepairable forever. Running into the 2^nd year of their marriage Amit met a near to death accident while back from work. Two months to recovery and joy had once again bounced back into their lives. They were expecting their 1^st child but soon their happiness was curtailed with the discovery that both of them were HIV positive and the unborn child too bore the chances positively.

The couple almost 5 months into the family way was heartbroken to hear the news and asked their parents and extended family for taking the responsibility of the unborn child after their demise. But to their dismay, nobody accepted their plea .Burdened with grief, after living a life of isolation and disgrace for 2 years Amit resorted to committing suicide by jumping from their 7^th floor apartment along with their 5 month old son.

Brought up in a society where families teach their children virtues of unconditional love, Radha always considered living in isolation and killing oneself as a cowardly phenomenon. But living with this disease made her realize that surprisingly and strangely in such cases, the cowardice was not on part of the victims but on the part of their families and society they lived in. The victims of this virus once were brave, but like the virus even their own family sucks out all the traces of bravery in them.

The only cure to this social evil is to try and direct ourselves and those around us to fight against this disease and not against the victims of it and work towards giving them a more meaningful, purpose filled and respect filled life.

Like a child who was almost suffocated to death by his mom’s umbilical cord still grows up loving his mother, in the same way a virus in the blood stream of our loved one cannot overpower the relationship we share with them .We just need to see the whole issue in a positive light rather than falling in  vicious pool of rumors the disease is surrounded with.

 This work of mine has been published in THE GAYLAXY MAGAZINE ' an online magazine ...to view the story , click here :) :) http://www.gaylaxymag.com/blog/index.php/2011/12/a-positive-effect-3/

HAPPY DIWALI

Let the darkness of the night bring loneliness no more
Let the crackling sound bring noise no more
Let your soul twirl along with the mystic smoke and the magical laughter
Let your ears be whisked by sound of the captivating chants
Let your eyes witness the scintillating romance
Of the breeze with the glittering lights
Of the stars with the sparkling Delights
For Once let your hearts celebrate DIWALI
With the soothing calmness
The tranquil skies
And a million dreams in the twinkling eyes


PS:-Let's celebrate this festive season not with the beaming sparklers but with a rendezvous of smiles and a tiny gleam of togetherness.


Blink - o - thought wishes it's readers a very Happy Diwali !!! Also apologises for its long disappearance from the blogosphere and promises to be back with some fiery posts soon . So stay tuned !!!

THAT GIRL WITH A BOOT-FETISH.....LOOKING AT...... ‘THAT GIRL IN YELLOW BOOTS’!!

INITIAL EXCITEMENT

The movie had me hooked the moment I saw its cover poster .Not because the face staring back at me was belonged to one of the most unconventional celebrities .Not because the metaphoric title made me see a shocking story in a new light but it was the rare scheme of colours and most importantly the picture of the rare yellow boots that took my attention. Being a shoe fanatic, I was drooling at the very sight of them.

PRE-EXPECTATION

Looking at the scheme of colours –black and yellow and especially the shining yellow boots, I expected the movie to have a vivid mix of both bright and dark side of life.

TAKE 1-AGREABILITY WITH THE STRUGGLE & GREY SHADES OF CHARACTER

Moving with the story, I completely agreed with the protagonist’s thrive to find her father. In search for love we all have to jump through hoops and pass though colossal hurdles that once seemed unapproachable.

“Love is the reason to remain sane yet the yearning for it is an excuse to be insane in all the spheres of life”

The yearning of having someone to fall back on not only makes you feel restless but also changes the way you  look at life. The things once obvious to you become weird and the weirdest of all the things somehow fall right into the realm of normalcy. Inspite of the incessant efforts you put in your daily chores there still is a frown you that you carry all day because the thought process supercedes all efforts to put up a brave front.

Thus, Optimism changes its definition, subtly, to hope against hope, slowly and silently poisoning your personality.

TAKE 2- BETRAYED BY THE CRUEL END & AMBIGUOUS CORRELATION OF TITLE WITH THE STORY

The assumptions, imaginations and expectations, fail me, leaving behind a cloud of discontentment and shock. My soul is stirred and shaken, at the gush of cruel reality, as also, the same old question.......what’s with the yellow boots!

FLASH TIME!

 Still zapped by the title conundrum and equally outraged at the depicted cruelty, I happened to glance down my feet, at my favourite shoes, and suddenly...... everything fell into place!   :

The journey of the girl on a mission, possessed by her demons, out to seek answers, and to avenge by her 'dirty yellow cunning', makes complete sense now!

“There’s a left shoe and an obviously a  right.one. The Italian word for left is ‘sinistro ‘, also meaning ‘sinister’ in English! Also, the opposite of right is wrong. So...... SHOES ARE A PERSON’S YIN AND YANG!!   We have both good and evil within us. Nobody is perfect, and we all have shades of grey “And I guess, it’s our dark side which makes our lives all the more interesting and unconventional!!”

“The girl in yellow boots finally gets to the end of the road, where 'the shoes come off' and the heels strike hard, on our hearts, making them tremble to the bitter taste of reality. “

But, sadly, our minds have become so immune to the bad things in life, that it automatically forces us to shut our hearts, ears and eyes, to anything that even hints at darkness, as a blockade, to continue onto our mundane ‘brighter ‘ paths.

I’M WEARING GLARES TO PREVENT DARKNESS TO ENTER MY SOUL            

Delving into the dark and poisonous side of life may make for interesting cinema, but the thing to ponder over is: does it really make for an interesting life! The answer is perhaps somewhere in the middle- getting caught in the quagmire of negativity i.e. hatred, revenge, indignation, retribution, unforgiveness, etc., should ideally teach one of the potential disasters in harbouring them. It should ideally be a guide as to how life's cards should not be played by oneself, and what changes one HAS to bring about to move FORWARD, because life surely cannot be about external conflicts, but about internal conflicts, and the belief in a much higher purpose, to be harmoniously and benevolently achieved.'

That Girl With Yellow Boots' may be a 'hit' in 'reel' life, but in 'real' life, I could do without it!!.....

LESSONS LEARNT HAND IN HAND with the Green eyed angelic devil

 Brought to the world a month before my fifth birthday, he taught me that gifts not necessarily come with the kinds of wrappings and frills you always wished for but nevertheless they are precious.

PEAS OF A POD- Smiling Together

Perched on my bed, next to me

Kicking his tiny podgy legs in the air
He looked like an angel to my mom

But amidst the halo, I could see two tiny horns

Always ready to irk me.

It may have been through frowns and jealous glances

But nevertheless he gave me COMPANIONSHIP

My barbies, which once looked like fairies,

Now lay beneath the bed with broken limbs

Like damsels in distress, waiting to be rescued by their hero – his Gi-Joes

It may have been through a series of loud cries and a parade of stomping feet,

But nevertheless he taught me ACCEPTANCE

 As years passed and our lives twirled around hand in hand

He blamed me for everything that went wrong

And i did same for my things that went missing

I abused him, I ridiculed him

Yet he stood by my side, when the world seemed to fall apart

It may have been through innumerous   verbal spats

But nevertheless he taught me UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

He always picked up a fight when I was done

I hated him for being the younger one

And He hated me for being treated as the son

Yet he comforted me when I cried

And understood me when nobody else did

It may have been though accuses and blames

But nevertheless he taught me FRIENDSHIP

We fought, we cried, we played, we laughed, we planned, we failed but whatever we did we did it together. And like I say, we are Pods of a Pea stuck together no matter what.

SONAM DEMBLA

PING THE WORLD- FLIP FLOP AND BACK

With each passing day, I feel that the world is becoming closer, and it’s contracting too .But its not because Mom spun it in the washing machine but because of the social networking sites which have managed to create a parallel route of life for all of us.  This route unlike the one created by God is much easier to manage, access and interpret. Also it gives you the liberty to decorate it the way you like.

It’s a world of dreams

Where every good thought, word and action is honoured, awarded and followed

It’s a world of goodness, bliss and all those wonderful things

Where there are happy faces everywhere you look

There are suprises on every shore, moor and peak. Cheer waiting around every corner

Oh world! What an amazing joy-ride you are.

And to make you that, begins with me…

But not to forget like the real life, this too has an unpredictable end attached to it and we can do nothing but to move on.  Just to give our memories a flashback let me cite the two major demises in the social networking world.

Orkut which once was the god of web communication for all of us and suddenly it became a haunted house which we refuse to pay a visit. Though, it still stands holding the memories of all our naive attempts of connecting with our old lost friends, our scraps, our photos and not to forget our testimonials.

The second social networking site to follow the league is My Space which was most probably the oldest in the clan. I accept my ineptitude of not being able to give details of this because sadly I was never a part of this space. So its existence never affected me in any way but its sudden demise is one of the major reasons which made me stiffen and think about the aftermaths of a rewinding back to our normal lives minus the social networking sites.

Today, just a slowdown in the internet connection makes you feel as if it’s the longest day in the world. Everything seems to run slow and the world comes crashing down.  You want to say things and talk to people you are connected to but feel like you are stuck in a box. Just a day without updating your status message or commenting on somebody’s wall makes you feel non-existent.

Just imagine about an era where all these will bid adieu. What will happen:-

Our status updates and tweets will become mere diary entries              

Our walls, timelines and not to forget the new streams will be replaced by isolated streets where we’ll keep waiting to come across some old friends and acquaintances

Our friend lists, followers and circles to which we seem so closely related too will resort to a bunch of people, whose existence might never be felt.

Now, I guess I have already sown the seeds of distress in all those who are reading this post. This is enough of a nightmare for me and everybody else. But still we are so obsessed with the vices of the social networking block that it’s discomforting to even think about surviving without it. So I should better stop running my mind and quietly run back to my web world, catch somebody on the chat window and say PING!! And let world PING back at me

PS: Don’t think I’m a dweeb who is miles away from the social networking world. In fact I’m a regular patron of all the networking sites, someone who lives through her updates and her life comes to a standstill when people don’t like it. Just an hour of being without my internet connection and the sudden discovery of a missing fan, one who always commented on my updates, puts my life into disorder and makes me flip flop the existence of the social world.

SONAM DEMBLA

Hope is my new neighbour

Hope is the new neighbour in my heart’s abode

And I find it trailing me everywhere

Hope is in the bylane,

And i see it shining bright at me when im stuck in a lonely street and have lost my way.

Every morning walking out of the front door

I see it there eagerly waiting to wish me luck

Lost in my thoughts sitting on my bed

 I see it sneaking behind the curtains

Carefully looking at me and greeting me with a naughty smile when our eyes meet

When my dreams go awry

I see hope in my pillow waiting to take all my sobs in

And transport me to a dreamland I have never been before

Hope is in the mirror

Laughing to all the tales I whisper

And applauding all the tunes I hum

The story of hope can never come to an end,

As said well begun is half done,

Hope is always with me now, then and till my end. 

When you let hope live in your heart, it not only becomes a way of life or saves you fall apart, It brighten ups your life with that very energy of positive art, Thereby giving life a happy ending tag. 

Daddy’s Little Girl

She walks down the yellow brick road holding his hand

Wearing her heart on the sleeves

Her hands in her pocket

And her head up in the clouds

He is the world her big brown eyes wake up too

And she is daddy’s little girl

She may look like a mess

With a mob of curls on her head

And a pink bow lost underneath

But for him she is the only Princess he has ever seen

And she is daddy’s little girl

Standing on his shoes

Hoping to spend some time with him

She holds him tight 

And with glee she says “Daddy Lets Dance...

“Twirl me around and dont let me Fall Daddy lets Dance”

Her Finger may be tiny

 But it has him all wrapped around it

And she is daddy’s little girl

  

DREAMS UNLEASHED

It was quite late in the night but her sleep was still at bay. She lay still on her bed struggling to make sense of what was on her mind. Her thoughts were spread in an untangled mesh and seemed to strangle her with their vastness. In need for breath she ran out of her house right on to the street. Looking in the eyes of the bright street lights which seemed like stars in the moonless night, she thought of him. She knew it wasn’t right to dream like that but nevertheless her heart refused to hear her woes.

Still lost in struggle between her mind and heart, she heard the blaring of a horn right at her back. She turned around and to her surprise saw him there.

He was sitting in the car with his glaze fixed at her. She searched for a hidden frown on his face but couldn’t gauge none .On the contrary he had a grin of a child who seemed to have found a hidden treasure.

Her heart rejoiced, it seemed to her that she had got him back. All the years of spent with him came rolling back. He pulled open the back door of the car and gestured her to get in but she pretended not to notice. He called her again but no answer. He was just thinking if things still were wrong. When she suddenly pulled in the door and jumped into the front seat .With glee she said “I don’t think you are my cabby. And even if you think you are, I won’t let u feel like one, so keep your ambition and take off with me in my dreams.”

Driving silently into the unknown path, with him sitting right besides, her heart flew to the limitless boundaries. All the unrest had vanished in a jiff and like a child she drifted off to her dreams. Her Face revealed the story she weaved.

Come along with me to a place in my mind

No one knows where it hides

And my fantasy is flying

It’s a castle in the sky

Fairytales live in me

Fables coming from my memory

Fantasy is not a crime

Find your castle in the sky

You’ve got the key

Of the kingdom of the clouds

Open the door

Leaving back your doubts

You’ve got the power

To live another life with your love

So ride the wind

And build castles in d sky

Down on one knee...handing her a long-stemmed red rose...Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life...Love gives us a chance to unleash our dreams..!!!

METAMORPHOSIS TO MOTHERHOOD

Some time back, which now seems like long time back, I saw a friend telling her son to shut his ears with his hands each time she shut a door, car, cupboard, anything and everything. That time I always wondered why she did that. But, now over the years, seeing more and more women getting into that phase, I know that she was only trying to make sure that his little fingers were safe.

It’s funny how perspectives of a woman change as she steps into her motherhood.

Let’s understand what this metamorphosis is all about:-

METAMORPHOSIS TO MOTHERHOOD

Once a Bohemian

Free, Radical and Independent

She aspired through her dreams

And lived through her passions

But something magical made her change

She fought the fear and chased the pain

Just to hold a tiny soul in her arms

He opened his eyes and fell wailing in her arms

But nevertheless it made her proud

So she gave up her ambitions just to brighten up the tiny face

Her dreams which once were hers

Now belonged to the angel who slept on her lap

Her nights were gone, singing a lullaby and pulling the covers up high

Her days went by listening to stories of a circus mind which ran wild

And running around the messy hands which tattooed all over the house

But nevertheless it made her content

So she gave up peace of the complacency, just for the unsettling mindless riot. 

The mirror which was once her

Now belonged to the little rock star

Who spent his days standing in front of it

And singing into the spatulas

But nevertheless it made her happy

So she gave up all her dreams, just for witnessing some crazy dreams come to life.

It is strange but true that motherhood transforms a woman and makes her life spin faster that the spinning wheel. Nurturing instincts make her adapt to the child and his /her life in a funny and interesting way. She lets go all that she had planned for herself over the years . She re-weaves all her dreams and re-visits all her childhood fantasies through the eyes of her child. Thus, for a mother living life isn’t some goal, just a mere pursuit to happiness which keeps happening all along the way. 

Roots left Behind

Today is the world of modern working women who love their work and enjoy their freedom. Empowerment of women is the buzz word and we urban women have come a long way with lots of struggle and efforts. But amidst all the success and fame “Are we forgetting something “?

Lets together go through it together:-

Walking out of a fascinating bright coloured cubicle, she is a sparking beauty with her long dark hair put back in a neat bun. Her navy coloured formal attire does complete justice to her curves. In All she looks impeccable and a complete professional. As her eyes meet mine she flashes an ostentatious smile and greets me with a warm handshake.

But hey! Is she the same girl i knew, the same free, independent, radical girl who loved to let her hair down and sway it in the air. A pocket full of sunshine girl who walked the streets with her laid back attitude and embraced everyone she met on her way .Is she the same one who could bring laughter on all the dull and grim faces with her crazy and full of life talks.

I go to her house and meet the 3 beautiful god blessed angels her world is made of – her husband, her mother and her little baby daughter.

Oh wait!  There is something i missed, the angels look sad with their eyes yearning for love.

She is successful and she dons that  with her head held up high  .She always wanted to ride the world her way and she did just that.  She set her goals high and struggled to get them right.

And I love her for all her efforts.

But amidst her journey to success .She has lost her roots She has a family which she doesn’t like . Her love who she was once proud of, seems to be just another guy. He is the prince her dreams were once made of . The one who was capable of going down on one knee, handing her a long stemmed red rose once in a while and weaving a fairytale right in middle of an ordinary life.  But she doesn’t seem to have the time to care.

At a time when she can relive her childhood through her daughter and give her all that she once craved for.

Instead of teaching her to dip French- fries in her favourite milk shake and to never colour within the lines.

She follows a diet regime to the strictest.

Today she is ignoring the warm soft eyes of her mother which are waiting to see her come back but for sure she is going to miss her when she is gone.

Believe me she is not just one .You will find her in every second home in your neighbourhood.

Do you think she has lost her way?

 No she is right on the path she had craved for but has let her roots go. And we all need to get her back. If you find her, go embrace her and cheer her for all the good things then slightly lean on her shoulder and whisper in her ear

 “You going too fast girl , slow down and look around, you just missed to bring a smile on your angels faces . Your success is incomplete without their happiness. Go get those roots you belong to before its too late and also remember to hold them tight forever now “